"I believe in recycling, but this is ridiculous!"

I refer of course, to rolling out Al Gore yet again.

Speaking objectively (and recall I did compliment Bill Clinton on his presentation and perspective in his speech), Gore's delivery was absolutely atrocious. He rushed through the script, killing even the jokes and applause lines. It was terrible.

What surprised me more though, was Gore admitting that the contest between McCain and Obama was close! Not exactly setting up Obama to close out the convention on a note of confidence. And he returned to this theme later in his speech, saying that the election was not close amongst young voters, who he said had been strongly attracted to Obama (he directly addressed the massive crowd on hand).

More on Obama's speech later.

"Don't Stop, Monica Lewinsky."

I remember being in Cincinnati during late Summer, 1998. Along with several dozen other engineering new-hires at Procter & Gamble, I ventured out to corporate HQ for 2 sessions (10 weeks in total) of "Process Engineering School".

Basically, it amounted to a bunch of 22-year-olds, fresh out of college, sent away to a corporate networking summer camp, where we had to sit through several hours of "classes" and work on "projects" each day, and enjoy Cincinnati by night, complete with rental car and corporate AMEX for meals and expenses. AND, by the way, we were being paid our normal salary all the while. It was a dream come true.

As far as the academic side of things, probably the most useful thing I learned: in German, you ask wie bitte when you didn't hear someone's response, and need to know what he/she said. So that means in an American city heavily settled by German immigrants (like Cincinnati), people ask "please?" when they would like you to repeat your response to a question.

Ignorance of this etymology leads to some interesting who's-on-first moments for the rest of foreigners. For example, here was me in a supermarket, after buying some groceries:

Cashier: Would you like paper or plastic?
Me: Plastic would be fine.
Cashier: Please?
Me (thinking, jeez, these Cincinnatians are real sticklers for good manners!): I'm sorry, please.
Cashier: I said please.
Me: I know, and I responded.
Cashier: Yes, but would you like paper or plastic?
Me: Like I already told you, plastic!

Now, remember that the period of time when all these priceless life lessons were being absorbed by 22-year-old me coincided with the Lewinsky scandal in full swing. Driving to "work" one day with my friend Ben Lustig, an Indiana native and Notre Dame graduate who is one of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet, a parody of Fleetwood Mac's "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow" came on the local classic rock station, with the lyrics changed to Don't Stop, Monica Lewinsky. Ben nearly drove off the road he was laughing so hard, and even more so when I explained how clever the station was for using Clinton's song of choice to mock him.

The point is, after hearing the house band play Fleetwood Mac after Bill Clinton's speech from last night, all I could think of were the carefree days of P&G Process Engineering School, which should never be confused with nostalgia for Slick Willy's presidency.

However, as far as Clinton's speech from last night, I do have to say it was the best delivery I've yet heard at the Democrats' convention. The content was mostly distasteful, but Clinton did a very good job of putting the issues into perspective, instead of stringing together a bunch of forced platitudes like the others have done. I must admit, his blasting the GOP for royally screwing things up when we finally got control of the Executive and Legislative Branches, was on point (of course, I'd argue that the people responsible for that abominable agenda showed little allegiance to the conservative principles that should be guiding the Republican Party).

But Clinton's was much more natural a speech, warmed up by nearly 3.5 minutes of applause. I'll be interested to see if my party gives the same rousing welcome to Mr. open-borders-Harriet-Miers-you're-doing-a-great-job-Brownie next week.

That being said, readers of this blog know that I'm no fan of Clinton at all, and I found his speech chock full of do as I say, not as I do hypocrisy.

Among Clinton's lines:

"Restoring the American Dream..."

You mean like voting the Democrats out of control of Congress thanks to your wife's ridiculous socialized medicine program?

"America's leadership in the world has been weakened..."

Sitting idly by while millions of innocents were slaughtered in Rwanda, while pulling out all the stops to bully Serbia - that's American leadership?

"Perilous dependence on foreign oil..."

How much more "perilous" is it than when you were President, Bill? When you became President we imported only about 40%, when you left office, the figure was over 50%. Are there independent variables that affect this figure that relax the blame attributed to you? Of course. But then, don't use this as an example - it's intellectually dishonest.

"His family heritage and his life experiences have given him a unique capacity to lead our increasingly diverse nation in an ever more interdependent world..."

You'd know, you were the 1st black president!

"Revitalize the international institutions which help to share the cost of the world's problems..."

So, you're advising Obama to expand NATO? Our nation should never share the cost of backing idiots like Mikhail Saakashvili.

"People abroad have always been more impressed with the power of our example than with the example of our power..."

power of our example = ignoring genocide in Rwanda
example of our power = bombing Serbia

"Going it alone in the world, instead of building the shared responsibilities and shared opportunities..."

What do you mean, the Republic of Georgia sent 2,000 troops to support Operation Iraqi Freedom. Thanks, Randy Scheunemann!

That's Clinton's America for you - a place called Nope.

"We don't need 4 more years of the last..."

Well, Hillary says 8. For me, it's more like 16 (arguably 20, but I always give credit to HW for Madrid, while Bill Clinton achieved practically nothing).

That's right - 4 terms worth of unconstitutional foreign interventions, and incompetent philandering peace efforts to follow.

I can't really be bothered to dissect and critique all the ridiculous class warfare cheap shots taken in the various speeches at the Democrat convention yesterday, but suffice it to say there were plenty of references to "oil speculators", "Wall Street", and other code words for the people who fund political campaigns and always land on their feet, no matter who is in the White House.

The more important outcome: the McCain team has gotten all the bang for their disgruntled-Hillary-support buck that they could ever hope for, and they'd be well advised not to pin their hopes on the likes of Debra Bartoshevich.

That's not to say they shouldn't flirt with the issue behind the scenes, but Democrat unity is a reality at this point. Think of it this way: you might not like the girl your brother is dating, but once you toast them publicly at a lavish engagement party, you're all in - and you know it's too late to be complaining. Put up, or shut up.

After this highly scripted and nauseating convention (not that I'm expecting much better from my party), the movers and shakers amongst Democrats in the political sphere have bought in to Obama. Sure some of them might not bust their tails to get him elected, but they're not at all likely to pull a Lieberman and endorse McCain.

I'm referring here to elected officials who have a public profile as Democrats. Sure, a random delegate like "Debra" might go off the reservation, but until you have anything more substantial than the mayor of Linden, NJ, breaking ranks, the issue is dead amongst political officials and operatives who influence voters and run the "machines" that generate electoral results. They are Democrats, their job is to elect Democrats ticket-wide. End of story.

The only place McCain can make hay is with the faceless, oft-nameless movers and shakers in the fundraising sphere. If some individuals who helped raise big bucks for Hillary with a particular purpose or quid pro quo in mind have cold feet about Obama, McCain's people can move in. That's not to say someone who tapped their rolodex to the tune of $100K for Hillary in 2007 for a Democrat Primary can be counted on do so for a Republican in a 2008 General. But, if they're not going to play for McCain's team, he can at least try to keep them off the field. These are the sources of dollars that can be shifted to key states to influence undecided voters in the homestretch. If that $100K is not channeled to Obama's coffers, it's to McCain's benefit.

Expect, if they're smart, that the McCain team will continue to dispatch the Carly Fiorina types to woo fundraisers. But expecting many people to fill in the gap between Lieberman and Bartoshevich on the political side is folly.

"I come here tonight as a sister."

I woke up this morning and watched last night's highlights from Denver, especially the introduction by Michelle Obama's brother, Craig Robinson, and of course the keynote speech by Michelle herself.

Robinson spoke of "the experiences we shared growing up," which I'm sure he meant in the generic "any American can relate to" sense that pervaded almost the entirety of his sister's remarks. But it brought to my mind what has always struck me about the race issue in this year's campaign - that Barack Obama's experiences differ dramatically from those of most American blacks, including his wife Michelle and her brother Craig.

I recall discussing, as far back as last summer, the disposition of black Americans towards Obama, with a colleague from that community. At the time, the majority sided with Hillary Clinton - it was only after Obama began to win that the black community rallied behind him en masse. But, in the early stages, there was a feeling that Obama was "not a brotha", as my colleague put it, to make the point.

In other words, "the experiences [Craig and Michelle] shared growing up" didn't at all resemble those of a childhood in Hawaii and Indonesia, that of Barack Obama. I recall browsing a copy of Ebony magazine at Heathrow Airport over a year ago, to kill time between flights, when seeing a picture of Barack and Michelle on the cover. In it, she related her reluctance to go out with him at first, saying something like "he was from Hawaii, I thought he'd be weird."

But despite a joke about her husband's "funny name", practically nothing calling attention to anything different or unique could be detected in Michelle Obama's remarks.

"His family was so much like mine. He was raised by grandparents who were working class folks just like my parents - and by a single mother who struggled to pay the bills, just like we did. And like my family, they scrimped and saved so that he could have opportunities that they never had for themselves. And Barack and I were raised with so many of the same values..."

This was generic, no frills, everybody-feel-good 101. Yes, Michelle Obama "[came] here tonight as a sister," without a care as to whether or not her husband was perceived as a "brotha". She described her husband as "the son of a single mom from hawaii" no mention of his father being an immigrant (let alone from Africa), no mention of race, of ethnicity, of religion (I couldn't help but notice she left out the words "under God" after saying the phrase "one nation" at one point).

The message was clear - the Democrats know that her past remark about being proud of her country for the first time is a liability. Thus, last night's speech portrayed Michelle Obama as a fervently patriotic but colorless, generic, middle-class mom from working-class roots that her husband's strategists figure most Democrats a) are, or b) aspire to be.

Even a hat-tip to Hillary Clinton, "who put those 18 million cracks in that glass ceiling, so that our daughters and our sons can dream a little bigger and aim a little higher," was historically revised out of its feminist context, so that no group could possibly be singled out or left out.

I'm not a big fan of sectarian politics, which play a big role in Democrat Party politics, so this approach was pleasantly surprising to see, even if it was not at all genuine. I'll be interested to see whether or not the other major speeches take a generic route like Michelle Obama did, or whether the likes of Joe Biden and other whites can play through their politically-correct deck of cards.

A couple final notes: the scene at the end with Michelle and her 2 kids hugging and saying hi to their dad via videoconference were very endearing, and will play on the heartstrings of even the staunchest Republican.

And the guitarist in the house band had a very cool tone - clean and jazzy - I was digging him on both "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" and "Isn't She Lovely", especially the former.

I'm not expecting much in that department when my party convenes next week. We'll be lucky enough if people don't clap on 1 and 3.

"Look, I'm so tired of this."

That's why I'm going into exile for the next 2 weeks (yes I will be blogging again). So Barack Obama has picked Joe Biden, who voted in favor of the Mesopotamian Misadventure, just as the majority of Senate Democrats did, as his running mate.

I'm sure I'll have numerous occasions to dissect his record and statements during the upcoming circuses, but the first thing that comes to my mind about Biden is his dangerous approach to foreign policy. I recall the YouTube Primary debate, held on July 23 of last year, when Biden was asked about committing US troops to Darfur. He responded:

"Absolutely, positively. Look, I'm so tired of this...Where we can, America must. Why Darfur? Because we can."

Why stop at Darfur then? There are dozens upon dozens of countries around the world in which people are suffering, in Africa, Asia, Latin America, the Middle East, etc. Where we can, America must.

The trouble is, whence comes all the manpower for such peacekeeping, police-the-world missions? Our military is already stretched too thin, even before VP Biden would have the US commit ourselves to more regional conflicts that have virtually zero impact on our sovereignty or security.

We need more soldiers. We could do as the neocons advocate, and draft illegal immigrants, because, as Max Boot puts it "U.S. citizenship is still one of the world's most precious commodities." Just a commodity, to be traded or dumped when something better comes along. Talk about unpatriotic conservatives!

But getting back to Biden, we're going to have to think big to boost his world policeforce to sufficient proportion. How's this: why not have the Federal Government arrange marriages. I'm sure there's a clause somewhere in the Patriot Act that would extend this power. If not, no problem - I don't get the feeling that Obama/Biden would be too uncomfortable with signing an Executive Order to countermand the Constitution, like Bush has too often done.

Once federal agents had successfully matched up us single folk, they could then organize and supervise conjugal relations for the mandated couplings to ensure that each resulted in the procreation of enough children to populate Biden's "America Must" initiative.

Isn't that a bit over the top? Why should we go to such lengths? Because we can.